Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
