Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
