found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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