After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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