true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
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I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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