Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
