Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
