There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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