This is not my ceiling
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
FUCK WHALES
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
