I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
