I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
