help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
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I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
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I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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