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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
