so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
