you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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