I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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