So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
