i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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