Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
