Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
