Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
