my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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