Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
