Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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