I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
