6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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