Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
we're making bets on your personal life
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
