I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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