So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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