Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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