love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
