I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
