FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
