hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
high people should be assigned attendants
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
