You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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