he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
