Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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