whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The power of my boobs compel you
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize