he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
barbara walters just said penis...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Randomize
