I want to stick my p in your. b.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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