I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
NoShamevember. You game?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
