she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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