do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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