So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
