Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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