He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
