Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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