apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
