im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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