OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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