in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
