Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
