I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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