Pants 0. Shit 1.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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