shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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