Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize