I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
