do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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