i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
