They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
