I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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