It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
