I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
