About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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